The First Time ❌

Image result for rape

Today I remembered, I thought of you,

It crossed my mind, recalling how you took my innocence, made us become one from two,

You preyed on me, faked an interest and became a huge part of my world,

The popular guy noticed the quiet and unpopular girl,

We met online, and getting to know a little bit about each other took no time,

18 and naive, you told me you cared and I believed,

Came to visit me a time or two, hang out for a little while and seemed too good to be true,

Another night, another visit

But this visit in particular was a little different,

We laid together, holding me in your arms

You were good at making me feel safe from harm,

You began to caress me and my heart began to race

A look of panic and fear came across my face,

I whispered no but you proceeded anyhow,

I wished someone would stop this at any minute now

You began to unwrap the condom and I instantly wished I could rewind this moment, you heard me say no but part of me felt like I was still condoning it,

I wanted to get up and leave but my body felt frozen,

And he was taking advantage of the moment he had chosen,

He proceeded to insert himself inside of me, disregarding the pain he was creating,

And all I could do was lay there waiting,

For it to be over, since he ignored my desperate pleas for him to stop, But none of the that mattered to him and he just remained on top,

Once he was finished, he got up and vanished into the night, Tears streamed down my face, knowing none of what just happened was right,

He got what he came for and I was left feeling empty

He took everything upon his forced entry,

Laying there in shock, I was stuck with this sharp aching, Running to the bathroom to find bleeding, I was scared and my heart was breaking,

Allowing this to happen, I placed the blame on myself,

I was so disappointed, the blame belonged to no one else,

Wish I had been smarter, wise enough to see the lies,

Then maybe it could have been better with someone else, he wouldn’t have had the chance to ruin my first time

💔<<
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