Marriage, What No One Tells You

marriage_dictionaryMarriage – (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.

This is a technical definition of marriage, given by Wikipedia. Technicalities may work in sports, but it’s a different game –pun intended — when it comes to marriage. Marriage is work. Marriage is commitment. Marriage is dedication. Marriage is not for the weak and it is not to be taken lightly. And this is not to say that marriage is some horrible existence; instead this is to say that marriage is when you find out what really goes on behind the scenes.

Marriage comes with arguments, disagreements, highs and lows. Marriage is about the celebration in front of others as well as the bad situations behind closed doors. No one tells you that the slightest miscommunication can lead to the biggest, and at the same time the most insignificant, argument. No one tells you that deciding what to eat for dinner, or if the two of you are even going to eat dinner together can be a problem. No one tells you about the headaches, the tears and the stress.

You have to be committed for marriage to work. As they say, ‘anything worth having is worth fighting for.’ There is no use in fighting for something you have no interest in keeping, but if you are ready and willing to overcome it all, then you can indeed overcome it all. If the two of you are willing to be a team, then it just makes sense to work it out. Yes it gets hard and throwing in the towel may seem like the best thing at times, but that’s when you have to consider the good times. Think of the happy times. The smiles, laughs and love shared. Those things are what should help you get through the tough times. When things get bad, you have to remember that they won’t always last.

In any relationship, marriage especially, you have to always be ready to forgive and to understand. You have to forgive because we all make mistakes and you have to be willing to understand because it’s only fair. You would want your point to be heard and understood, so it’s only right to extend that same courtesy. I know that can be difficult to both remember and imply while you are caught up in the heat of the moment, but when you feel an argument brewing, it’s best to just stop, step back and take a breather because there is nothing worse than hurling an insult you never meant. Once words are spoken, they can never be taken back, so choose your words wisely. Always speak life, love and words of affirmation. Building your partner up can do wonders for your relationship.

In the short year that I have been married, I have learned so much. Granted, there are times where I have trouble always implementing it, but every day is another chance to do better. Another chance to get things right. I try to aim for this every day, and though it may not always be easy, it makes me feel good to know that I am striving to do my best. I am striving to do better. I am striving to make my marriage work in the name of love.

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