Sisters Holding it Together: Keeping a Brave Face When Another Baby Comes Along

TI & Tiny

What do T.I., Ludacris and Dwayne Wade all have in common? Besides being in the entertainment industry? Well, the three of him have all been accused of fathering illegitimate children outside of their relationships to their significant others.

Clifford “T.I.” Harris is the latest victim to undergo the scrutiny.

Earlier this month, he and his wife Tameka “Tiny” Harris were dealing with rumors of separation, but have since tried to shut those rumors down. It was said that the rumors were fueled by an argument that the couple had right before the Grammy Awards. Blogger and media personality, Funky Dineva, reported the following:

There was an altercation on the Grammy red carpet. This altercation is FAR LARGER then TMZ and other media outlets will have you to believe. I have confirmed reports from witnesses that say T.I. and Tiny were getting it DOWN out there. Bae-Bae they said they showed out and that there were plenty of onlookers. Leveraging their relationship with TMZ, T.I.’s camp was able to get them to downplay their story significantly, and put a stupid spin on the story that only a 2-year old would believe. Additionally, members of T.I.’s team leveraged their relationships with smaller Atlanta based blogs to twist facts and downplay the whole ordeal.

If you are wondering why T.I.’s people are so pressed to keep things under wraps, just follow the money and you can deduce why. First off, with the assistance of T.I. and The Family Hustle, T.I. has been able to completely change his image and public perception of his dope boy rap star past. A more wholesome image opened T.I. and The Harris Clan up to a slew of dollars provided by advertisers for his new found mass appeal. Overnight, this could all come crashing down if this ‘image’ is shattered. Well, don’t let them cute high yella children on VH1 fool you. T.I. & Tiny are a far cry from Bill & Claire. The truth of the matter is the crux of T.I. & Tiny’s recent issues stem from the baby T.I. has fathered outside of their marriage. Those closest to T.I. & Tiny are keeping it cute, but the Atlanta streets and big mouth members of T.I. & Tiny’s camp are talking. I’m told the baby is definitely less than a year old.”

I think his is the worst case because he and Tiny are married.  When you’re married you take those vows. And not only are they married, but they’re both celebrities. There is a higher risk associated with temptation when you are famous. Everybody wants to get to you; not necessarily for you, but for what you have and the name you have made for yourself. Celebrities should already be aware of the people that are out there to try and break up a happy home, especially these scandalous women. I’m sorry, but if you are a married entertainer, there are just certain things you shouldn’t do, certain places you shouldn’t go and certain people you should not hang with. What is always okay for single people is not always okay for married people. No married man should be in the strip club or hanging with a bunch of females. Y’all shouldn’t even be alone together long enough for some random women to even pretend to say that y’all had sex and subsequently, you’re fathering her baby. Point blank period.


Gabrielle Union & Dwayne Wade

Basketball star Dwayne Wade is also in the same situation. Difference is, he admitted to fathering a third son (his other two are from a previous relationships) while on a so-called ‘break’  from his now-fiancee, Gabrielle Union. Now about this “break” that they were on … *insert eye roll*. I just hate the word ‘break’ in and of itself when it comes to relationships because the term is so vague. How long is the break? Are we still together? If not, will we ever really get back together? Is it okay to talk to other people? Is it not?  People say that they are on a break, but the terms are never really CLEARLY defined. Just a few weeks ago, I was reading the December issue of ESSENCE  magazine and Gabrielle was on the front cover. Inside, she talked about the break that her and Dwayne were supposedly on. She said that it only lasted a couple of days and that the two of them talked ALL day, EVERY day. Now if that’s really the case, how did he find time to go and not only sleep with, but impregnate someone else? I know it doesn’t take much but if they were talking that frequently, she should have known that something was up because I doubt they were on the phone while he was doing the do with the other girl, although…we’ll just leave that alone.

I also read another article on Gabrielle over at, (read it here) that basically said that Gabrielle was taking the blame for Dwayne cheating on her. As if this relationship wasn’t already annoying me. Gabrielle, 41, said that she and Dwayne, 32, had originally taken a break because of “distance and scheduling” and says that she missed out on quality time between the two of them that was desperately needed. She then stated that she doesn’t believe that men are innately wired to cheat and that she think Dwayne stepped out on her because “she wasn’t affectionate enough or available to him when he wanted to get frisky in the bedroom.” Excuse me, but that is ridiculous. I am pretty sure that I am the least affectionate person in the world (slight exaggeration), but my husband still knows better. He is the completely opposite. I know the last thing he would do is cheat on me, especially for a weak reason like me not being frisky enough. And even if that was a good enough reason, the man in the relationship should be a man and say what the problem is. I know men are more physical and most of them don’t enjoy communicating like most women, but that reasoning sounds like a horrible excuse.

I think that he cheated because he just figured it was something that he could get away with. I also think that when you date an entertainer, and a much younger one at that, there is a higher risk associated with worrying about your man being unfaithful (as mentioned earlier). He’s handsome. He’s rich. He’s an athlete. To a Black woman, finding a man like that is an extremely rare discovery. I believe that Dwayne thought nothing about getting back together and was just moving on to the next piece of tail. I think Gabrielle was the one who decided to still hold on. And I can only imagine how hard it  must have been to hear that your man, the love of your life, that you have been dating for several years, has betrayed you in such a way.

What also needs to be considered is the fact that Gabrielle is  41 years old — which is not exactly an ideal child-bearing age. Dwayne already has two kids from one woman and a third by a second woman; I’m sure Gabrielle wants some children of her own. I just wonder how she was able to fully take Dwayne back after finding out that he cheated. When I think about that, it makes me question Dwayne’s proposal. She had only accepted his proposal a week prior to the news of him fathering another baby became public. Coincidence? I think not.

Ludacris & Eudoxie

And then there’s Ludacris. The news of him fathering a little girl became public early last month. According to new reports from TMZ, the rapper and actor just fathered a baby with a woman who is not his longtime girlfriend Eudoxie. The woman’s name is Tamika Fuller (read her side of the story here).

It had been rumored in previous weeks that Ludacris may have been cheating on Eudoxie but it has now come to light through a new child support lawsuit filed by the Rapper. According to court documents acquired by TMZ, Ludacris is asking that the court sets a hard limit on child support. The baby daughter he fathered, Cai Bella Bridges, was born on Dec. 9, and he’s filed legal documents stating he brings in $25,842.41 a month on average. He’s hoping the child support payments will be set at $1,754.66 a month.

Ludacris and Eudoxie do not have any kids of their own (although Ludacris has a 13-year old daughter named Karma from a previous relationship). The two state that at the time of the incident, they were on an alleged “break” as well. Once again, how does one find the time? It’s like the love is here today and gone tomorrow.

At the end of the day, the comments made on these relationships are nothing more than that … my comments. My opinions. My thoughts. It just saddens me to see these three African-American women have to suffer through something like this. These three women represent something much greater. This type of thing happens in just as much in ‘the hood’ as it appears to be happening in Beverly Hills, the situation is just more magnified when you’re a celebrity. Women deal with a lot. We put up with a lot. But when do we draw the line? These men, albeit everyone makes mistakes, are becoming too comfortable it seems. Right from wrong is definitely known; it seems like these guys are out here doing dirt and thinking they are not going to ever get caught. Break or no break, these types of situations shouldn’t be happening. Especially if there’s a possibility of the two people getting back together. I know I’m not a man, so I won’t understand their thought process, but what makes them think that this is okay? That this is acceptable? Just the thought of my man doing something like this makes me cringe.

Situations like these just show the insurmountable power of forgiveness. It also shows how love will make you do crazy things. I understand how it is much easier to put up with a situation in your relationship because of the feelings and the time put into the relationship than to leave and start all over. But sometimes, sacrificing happiness for comfort is just not worth it. Sometimes we can’t be afraid to move forward.

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