Saying Goodbye 💔

Exactly one year ago was one of the saddest days of my life. I was standing in front of a judge watching my marriage officially & legally come to end. I was standing across from a man who had essentially become a stranger to me. Someone I had known since I was 19. Someone I had loved for 4 years; and that may not seem like a long time but it’s the longest I had ever been with anybody. Someone I expected to grow old with. The months leading to this day last year were some of the most melancholy. My heart was heavy and after it was over, I felt empty inside. I often wondered how did I get to where I was and how would I ever move forward. I took personal blame for the whole situation and pondered if there was something more I could have done, something else I could have maybe fixed.

The day of our court was the first time I had seen my ex husband since he had left me two months prior. I had this unsettling nervousness. I didn’t want him to see me break down and cry so I made sure that morning that my outfit was cute and that my face was beat. I wanted to come off unbothered, as bad as that may sound. After all, I wanted to show him that since he was leaving me, that he was the one making the mistake. It goes without say that I was crushed on the inside.

After we exited the courtroom, we tried to avoid each other but of course that failed. We were on the same elevator and on the way down, I was hoping he wouldn’t say anything to me as it was becoming more difficult to restrain my tears. That also failed. He began to talk to me and I found it tough to respond. I was feeling all of these various emotions at once and wasn’t really sure of what to say. He told me that this situation hurt him just as much as it was hurting me, which felt like a lie. He told me that no matter what, he would still always be there for me, which felt like another lie. All I could think was how he could offer to be there for me now, AFTER the divorce? It didn’t make sense to me.

Right before we got off of the elevator, he asked for a hug and since all I still wanted was him, I gave him one. Both of our eyes began to fill with tears instantly. We both proceeded to leave the building but not before stopping to have one final talk. Another hug, more tears, and then we went our separate ways.

I didn’t think I would make it. I was heartbroken and depressed. I would cry all night long and then wake up with puffy eyes and a headache. I didn’t see myself healing from this situation because I never even imagined being in this situation in the first place. My spirit was broken and I let the devastation consume me. I even entered another relationship without giving myself ample time to heal.


God had other plans for me. He had great plans for me. God took me through that period of brokenness, loss and lack for a reason and today, I’m so much stronger for it. Yes it hurt, but I’m better now. I’m in a good headspace currently & I made it through. God blessed me with awesome friends and family to help me get through one of the lost trying times of my life. I may have taken a loss, but it’s not the end of my story. 

This One’s for the Dreamers

imageEver had a dream so big that it scared you? When you think about said dream, does it make you a little uncomfortable? Almost as if it’s completely unattainable?

Those are the dreams that should be chased until they’re a reality.

Personally, I have a few different dreams. My obvious passion is writing. I want to be a published author; not necessarily for a specific genre, but more so just to share my passion with the world. When I write, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I feel as though I’ve opened myself up and kept a secret at the same time. I am not a great communicator verbally, so writing is where I shine. I get a true sense of intoxication when people enjoy what I have written. It’s my relief and I’m grateful to have such an ability as this. Where my verbal fails, my written expression prevails.

Another dream of mine is something a little more creative. I am passionate about hair, nails & makeup. I’ve only just recently taken a real interest in makeup, but it’s an interest of mine that has grown rather quickly. I’m always watching YouTube makeup tutorials and when I’m in the store, I’m always looking to add a new lipstick or concealer to my collection.

I have loved doing hair and nails since I was about six year old. My paternal grandmother was a hairdresser for over 40 years and both of my older sisters are professional stylists, so I truly feel like that hair gene runs in the family. It’s nothing for me to pull up a YouTube tutorial for a new style. I love trying new styles and I love switching things up. I feel like my hair, although it is the first thin people may see, is an extension of who I truly am. Each hair style I rock reflects a different mood and I love to see what works for me and what does not. And the same with my nails. I love experimenting with different colors, especially bright ones.

I recently came to the conclusion that I may have possibly majored in the wrong thing. Granted, I’m grateful for my college years and my degree, but I want much more from life than just being a case worker. I want to go to cosmetology school, and focus in on what I’m really passionate about. I want to spend my days helping women feel good about themselves and fulfilling my dream of a career in the beauty industry which will hopefully develop into a brand of my own one day.

Catching Up


Hey guys! Long time, no post.

Life has been happening left & right, but I’m ready to get back to posting.

I’ve celebrated some happy occasions recently and I’ll be blogging about those as well. I’ll also be finishing up some posts that I’ve left hanging.

Time to get to work!

Image courtesy of Google